Bloody tears I’ve lived without thinking…

Bloody tears I’ve without thinking about anything I burned my life, as best he could, all his powers Not remembering his past, I destroyed your future According to relatives that , the I got drunk and got behind the wheel Ended up in the end, the accident and of a girl sitting on the next seat I really don’t , don’t what I felt about her, I don’t how did it for me… Then I was broken and in a coma When I left, I didn’t understand how to hold a spoon, I didn’t know his name And Yes… I don’t feel guilty about her death, I Often I’m a moral monster And sometimes I that I could kill without regret, Maybe it’s all just the consequences of the accident? I drown these thoughts with alcohol, loud music in clubs and recreational drugs… But sometimes I try to her, and suddenly I was in love with? But only headache is my answer I made, well pieced together, after numerous operations, only a few ugly scars, but how assured the doctors, soon they will become invisible Like hail – left to live for, but something bothers me like I waited for the reckoning Parents worry, although experiencing longer mother, father cold towards me, but due to the fact that I don’t know how it was before, don’t worry iza this, take for granted the Father of a very powerful man, he’s overly bossy That’s just his power, he loses coming home, the wife the authority she once helped to put his business back on its feet, and the father pays her due respect I often catch him looking at me and I feel that he hates me, probably not such a son for himself, he wanted to… twenty-one I gained nothing but emptiness Mother drags me by my psychologists, I’m tired of the many questions I’m tired of caring I’m tired of the lies, because I feel her with his rotten gut Today, I again took the drug, but not in the club, and in his room From the loud music bursting , the silence much more pleasant, even though it can not hide the painful thoughts, I was lying in and staring at the ceiling, body relaxed, slightly shivered, hands go large goose Suddenly heart pain stung, and I felt a sudden fear, a sense that the room I’m not one swallowed me It’s all the drugs – I thought, with his eyes closed But felt someone watching me, I jumped up and saw her She stood leaning back against the opposite wall, she… she, the girl who died because of me, the girl I , She looked horrible, even wrong, disgusting, appallingly Long black hair, which tangled pieces of skin and meat, punched the head, put on display a part of the rotten brain Gray translucent skin through which the blue veins, cracked, dried the lips, wry mouth apparently due to a broken jaw And eyes like a lively, , bright blue with long black eyelashes Potatoe long dress exposed the rotting flesh, the rib was sticking out of the scorched hole in the thin material I was looking at her with bated breath, no doubt – is she Her name was Lily, many times I came on her social network pages she was only seventeen… She quietly walked up to me, but not the steps, and seemed to move through the air without stepping on the floor my mouth was dry, and I trembled all over, heart was beating so often that it even became painful, I had no idea that it is possible to experience fear so strong My legs were shaking and I didn’t understand from fear or from the cold She approached me closely, I could see her terrible injuries, which were swarming white maggots I couldn’t scream, and does that make sense? You don’t anything… I’ll help you Start over – she whispered and touched his broken lips of my After that I only a dream or not a dream was it? Like flashes of memory gave the storm I was her and saw himself from the outside, I felt what she felt Now, she is at a party in her beautiful dress, black hair covered her shoulders, and blue eyes Shine She is glad to see me, I like her She thinks I’m beautiful and kind… yeah, I’m flattered She was so very happy that I approached her that night said her many compliments and witty jokes, fun We went outside, holding hands, I invited her to explore the city, and she only smiled At this snippet, I woke up, I realized that sleeping on a cold floor In a room suddenly gone father, he was drunk, it was still dark, apparently he came back He looked at me like a creep, like a jerk I stood up and swayed, but he only piano and grinned evil – You hate me? – I asked – For what? Tell me! The father grabbed his head, it seemed from the howl of pain in a moment, And then he screamed – You were mine I loved you! But you’re a monster, you murderer! And you’re an extension of me… the father was crying, and I couldn’t stand it and ran out of the room, grabbing the keys to the car I was driving at high speed, it is distracted In my head was confusion, I didn’t realize that the chaos in my life is growing and soon will suck me and Suddenly I felt that no one look in the mirror and everything inside me went cold in the backseat she sat, a moment later her face came closer and I saw that her grey cheeks are tears of blood Fear, an indescribable fear and shock… a Mountain of crumpled metal and unbearable pain of my mutilated body And again the memories, not mine – her Lily refuses to go with me and I spoiled his father’s money and permissiveness, like mad, plus acted drunk alcohol hit In the head with adrenaline and rage She’s hurt and scared, I grab her by the hair and dragged into a car, thrown into the back seat She was afraid to scream, she is afraid to convulsions with mere lip whispers to me – let go… What I did with her then I don’t even want to describe all I can say is – it was barely alive, bleeding to death, and I understand what is happening, deciding what to do with it, I decided to take her into the and to finish off, we had an accident on the road… She died even before it happened And I survived and I’m alive and now I feel all her pain, she gave her pain to me Now will not save me money, not father nor my indifference to life I’m ugly, both inside and outwardly, My body cannot recover even if you do thousands of operations Terrible burns and scars adorn his amputated legs, bald head and returned the memory, I spent hours drawing her, those bloody tears I dream every night But still I’m happy for her – she could be freed, leaving me with their pain for years to come, because, as I already knew, I’m too weak and pathetic to take his own life scares Me, the idea that after death I will experience the pain much more tangible…


I guess everyone gets this feeling when…

Probably everyone has sometimes the feeling, when the usual festivities on the street becomes boring and not interesting at this moment you start to look for any Senate, adventure, in order to pass the day was a normal day, my best friend (Change the name, let it be Vedic)decided to walk Around for two hours […]


Clearing in the woods we Went, the three of us…

clearing in the woods the three of us Went into the woods to take a walk — my husband and his aunt were With us three dogs Climb on the woods, had a campfire to burn, brought meat with them to cook, Yes, some wine to drink While her husband was with her aunt was […]


Aunt Glasha In 12 years, I…

Aunt Glasha In 12 years I often visited in the summer in the village to the grandmother Parents took me there, had tea and left for a week or two In the city was not as good as in the village especially because I’ve got friends who come here from the city And in the […]


Teleportation or what? The story related by eyewitness…

or Teleportation? Case, told by an eyewitness to the incident occurred in the mid-90s I was 25 years old, and at that time I got a job as a driver for trading wholesale basis My work consisted of receiving and shipping of goods from other cities Trips were usually for short distances, from 150 to […]


Jack the jumper for a Few years during the nineteenth…

Jack-jumper a Few years during the nineteenth century London is terrorized by two genuine monster in human guise, both named Jack, about both we do not know for sure and today One was called Jack the Ripper, and the second was even more untenable figure, it is possible that no-man — Jack the Jumper, the […]


Conservation In 2003, I realized…

Conservation In 2003, I realized that I cannot postpone the trip to my sister in Kherson region in General, I promised to come to her wedding, but it turned out that the work is not allowed after a week she called and ordered to go to her I must Confess, the week after the wedding, […]


Leave a Reply